Werewolves gone Wild
by ThunderSpeak
Summary: A series of short stories about the werewolves, detailing what would happen if Bella chose Jacob. An epic tale, twists and turns into a drama that will keep you on the edge of your seat. a parody WARNING: Possible perversness.
1. Chapter 1

Werewolves gone Wild

_By_

Thunderspeak

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, all girls would be thrown off a cliff and the boys would become my slaves. But, I don't so now I will just make them do these things in my fiction. Muahaha.

Summary: A series of one shots detailing the life of the werewolves, including Jacob and if Bella chose him. WARNING: Perverseness is promised.

AN: Youngsters, you may want to not read this.

………

**Chapter One: He's a growing boy!**

Bella and Jacob were currently sitting on the couch together, when a question struck Bella. It wasn't an _ordinary_ question per say, but a rather… different kind of thought.

Gathering up the courage, Bella turned to Jacob with fierce determination.

"Jacob, I have an important question for you."

Seeing the unusual thoughtfulness on Bella's face, Jacob quickly became worried.

"What is it Bella?"

A deep silence flooded the room. How could she phrase this…?

"When you became a werewolf…" she gulped, "did _everything_ grow?"

Jacob quickly smiled. A devious look came across his face and Bella quickly became nervous, shying back as he leaned forward, his hot breath blowing in her face.

_What did he eat today, moldy garlic? _

Her thoughts were brushed away when he tugged his lips across her cheek.

"Why yes Bella… let me show you…"

Bella gulped.

THE END

...........

Lol. Anyways thats chapter one. They will continue to be fairly short but cute/peverted ideas I and my cohort, Imperfectly yours, thought of. SO! Pretty please review and it will make my day.

thunderpseak =]


	2. Chapter 2

Werewolves gone Wild

_By_

Thunderspeak

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, all girls would be thrown off a cliff and the boys would become my slaves. But, I don't so now I will just make them do these things in my fiction. Muahaha.

Summary: A series of one shots detailing the life of the werewolves, including Jacob and if Bella chose him. WARNING: Perverseness is promised.

AN: Youngsters, you may want to not read this.

* * *

**Chapter Two: The shoe size**

"What is your shoe size Jacob?" the seemingly random question came from Bella's lips while her and Jacob took a walk (although more of her activity was falling).

"14. Why do you ask?"

Bella twitched slight and a slow grin crossed her face. Appearing from no where a ruler was in her hands, and she was mumbling incoherently with a slightly disturbing look on her face.

"14-4=10…" she held her hands in the length of ten inches, her eyes widening, "Dear god!"

Jacob was sorely confused. "What are you doing Bella?" he was severely worried, maybe for her sanity.

Her head snapped up, now beet red. "A guys…" her eyes traveled down to his waist, "is his shoe size minus 4…"

Jacob still didn't quite understand, but knowing Bella, he probably never would.

"10 inches! Your bodonkidonk is almost a foot!" her squealed voice came.

Jacob then promptly fell over as Bella tackled him, squealing. (Or falling, he never was quite sure.)

* * *

THE END. REVIEW and I WILL CONTINUE.


	3. Chapter 3

Werewolves gone Wild

_By_

Thunderspeak

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, all girls would be thrown off a cliff and the boys would become my slaves. But, I don't so now I will just make them do these things in my fiction. Muahaha.

Summary: A series of one shots detailing the life of the werewolves, including Jacob and if Bella chose him. WARNING: Perverseness is promised.

AN: Youngsters, you may want to not read this.

……….

**Chapter Three: Puppies need Attention**

Bella was cooking for Jacob, which over the past few weeks became a habit. Make food, have him breathe it down and ask for more.

"Puppies like attention."

Bella jumped slightly, the cutting knife clattering onto the floor. Jacob stood behind her, grinning slyly.

"Jacob! Don't do that when I'm holding a knife."

"You're right. With your luck it would somehow drop, bounce of a wall, go through your hand, then ricochet off--"

Bella was not amused. "I get it."

"And again, Puppies like attention."

Bella turned and raised an eyebrow, Jacob staring at her attentively.

"Will you give me attention?"

_Ahhh…_ she understood. Bella sighed. This was the third time today!

Drying her hands off on the towel, "I'll meet you in the bedroom."

The puppy smiled.

……………

Billy wheeled into the hallway, ready to take a long nap after an exhausting day.

But something caught his attention, a sound coming from his sons' room. Billy frowned in confusion, moving closer to the door.

He heard giggles. "Jacob, stop!" and laughter.

And loud, offensive squeaks of the bed. Billy rolled back in astonishment. Were they doing what he _thought_ they were doing? His face turned red as he fumbled with his wheels, trying to get away as fast as possible.

_Squeak, squeak, _each sound was another tear in poor Billy's heart.

…………..

Bella rolled her eyes.

"Jacob we've been doing this all day and I'm really tired."

Plopping on the bed, Jacob smiled, "But it's so fun and you know how I like going up and down."

Bella groaned.

"Jacob, you need to grow up."

"I think I've done enough of that," he snickered and she jumped up and walked to the door.

"Look Jacob, I don't know how to break this to you… but this," she gestured around, as he sat very confused.

"Is not going to work out. I can't do this anymore." And with that Bella skipped out the door, leaving Jacob huffing on the bed.

Jacob sighed, flopping on the bed.

_God, I ask her to jump with me on my new bouncy bed and she just flips out._

…………

Wow that ended up stupider than I thought. Anyways, if you review I will update! There's probably only going to be like 2 more chapters. S


	4. Chapter 4

Werewolves gone Wild

_By_

Thunderspeak

Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, all girls would be thrown off a cliff and the boys would become my slaves. But, I don't so now I will just make them do these things in my fiction. Muahaha.

Summary: A series of one shots detailing the life of the werewolves, including Jacob and if Bella chose him. WARNING: Perverseness is promised.

AN: Youngsters, you may want to not read this.

……….

**Chapter Four:**

"I told you so."

Bella sent Jacob a bitter look. If someone was to walk into the room, they would come upon a peculiar sight.

Jacob lying on the floor with his shirt off and a raw egg nestled onto his stomach, the yoke dribbling off onto the floor. Bella sat peeved next to him, her hands on her hips.

"You know Jacob, 'I told you so' has a brother and his name is shut the hell up!"

Jacob just chuckled, sitting up and wiping off the egg with a towel.

"Did you really think I could fry an egg on my stomach? My skin isn't _that_ hot," and to this, Bella sent him a perplexed look.

"I thought boiling point was 108 degrees?"

Jacob stared at her for a moment trying to decide if she was serious. Sighing in his head, he wondered if her intelligence when he first met her was just a charade…

"No Bells," he tried to say comfortingly, "putting the egg on my skin isn't boiling it, its _frying _it."

They sat together, Bella perplexed at this new meaning to life and Jacob coming to his new found realization at exactly _why_ Edward had left her.

……

_And later that day…_

Bella clenched her fists and glared at the offending toaster. It would not toast her bread!

And then Bella did something unexpected, striking out her fist and slamming her hand into the innocent scrap of metal.

Her face turned blank for a moment and she scowled with a, "Owwww…"

Jacob sat there for a moment not quite sure what to do, considering Bella hurting herself wasn't anything new.

"That was really hard…" she moaned, and suddenly Jacob burst out laughing, leaning over and clutching his sides.

Bella was immediately furious, or as emotional as she could get.

"What?! You laughing at my pain Jacob!" she approached him, cradling her hand, and glaring at him.

He shook his hand trying to catch his breath, "No no no, that's not it…"

"Than what is it!"

Jacob smiled for a moment, tears at the corners of his eyes from the laughter.

In between chuckles he looked Bella square in the eyes and said, "That's what she said." Bella stood their in silence for a moment.

And then, "Seriously Jacob! You're so immature!" and she stuck out her hand to hit him, followed by a long painful,

"Owwwwwww."

......

I thought this one was really stupid, so if you dont reveiw I wont blame you. But thanks for reading anyways!!

-thunderspeak :)


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